Everything happens for a reason.

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Tue, 21 May 2013 23:34:48 -0400

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Tue, 21 May 2013 23:34:20 -0400

momvan: streetenvy: Twerking birthday card. THIS IS...

Tue, 21 May 2013 23:33:14 -0400

momvan:

streetenvy:

Twerking birthday card.

THIS IS MONUMENTAL.

oldatheart: fweeble: gryphynshadow: littlemissbatterwitch: cl...

Sun, 19 May 2013 23:56:50 -0400

oldatheart:

fweeble:

gryphynshadow:

littlemissbatterwitch:

clothoboorocracy:

stormybabe:

I have to say this is completely legit - someone tried to steal her handbag and she simply went “Fuck this- *suplex*”

My hero

someone teach me this pweeze-ooc

Ok Ladies, here’s the info on this move.

We are blessed with a low center of gravity. This means that when we get ahold of someone and tip over backward like that, it’s easy peasy for us to do. Especially on a guy. Think of it like a fulcum and lever: they’re the lever, we’re the fulcrum, and because their center of gravity is up in their chest, instead of in their pelvis, when we get down low and lean back, whupsy there they tip right over.

Now, here’s the real deal on that particular move. Check out how this gif end, with the guy’s head on the floor like that? How his torso seems straight up and down, his head and neck on the floor, all his body weight and the momentum of having been tossed over her shoulder?

Yeah, he’s pretty messed up from that. In the really real world, if you do that move correctly, toss your whole body into it, seriously oomph it up and give that mugger a throw, you can snap his neck.

All that said, here’s how you do it!

This is something you do fast, ladies. Move quickly and with assurance, and don’t worry about whether you’re strong enough to do it or not: you are. This is about physics, not muscle.

Get low, bend your knees and hips. Our strength is largly concentrated in our lower bodies, and when we put our knees and thighs into a move, we bring some of the largest muscles in the human body to bear. You’d be surprised what you can move with your legs.

When she got low on him, her right arm was around his waist, her shoulder roughly at or under his ass, her left arm wrapped around his left leg. Feet shoulder width apart for a nice stable base, big deep breath in, and lift just a bit while falling backwards. It doesn’t take much strength but it will really mess with the dude’s day. Landing on your head will at the very very least knock you silly for a minute.

Interestingly, we can use these same basic principles to ruin a guy’s day if he’s the one to grab us! Imagine, if you will, mugger dude runs up behind you and bear hugs you in preparation for dragging you into the alley. Scary, right? Yep.

If he lifts you too fast, and you find your feet off the ground, kick him in the shins, scrape your shoes down his legs, aim for the knees and his feet. Toss your head back and head butt him. Bite him. Squirm. Do what it takes to get your feet back on the ground.

Feet on the ground, grab his arms and hold on to them. Don’t let him get away, because this move, ladies, will put him down and out, and if he moves away he may go for a distance weapon, or start using his fists. Hold onto his arms and keep him in close.

Again, feet shoulder width apart. Use your booty and hips now, like you’re trying to hit his not-so-manly bits with your ass, get your hips back, bend your knees and flex your hips. If he’s shortish, you should at this point have picked him up and be balancing him on your back. If he’s tall, you’re now in position to put a crimp in his style in a big way.

Tuck your head to your chest and roll forward, just like you did when you were a kid. Flip yourself forward and let gravity do the rest. You will have your head tucked down, aiming to land on the upper back of one shoulder; he won’t. This means he’ll land on his face, with the full force of his own body weight behind it as well as any momentum you’ve built up. You may very well land on top of him too.

From here, get up, run like hell towards a light source while yelling “help, fire, call 911 (or whatever emergency services number exists in your country)”

Remember, ladies, with just a little understanding of comparative anatomy and physics, you too can put a man on the ground and seriously mess up his day. But then, that’s what he was planning to do to you, so fair’s fair.

Reblogging again because of Gryphyn’s awesome comment. C:

THIS IS AWESOME.

hownowbrownseacow: rosiebeck: nxv: primisthebomb: I THREW A GRAPE IN THE AIR TO CATCH IT IN MY...

Sun, 19 May 2013 23:55:37 -0400

hownowbrownseacow:

rosiebeck:

nxv:

primisthebomb:

I THREW A GRAPE IN THE AIR TO CATCH IT IN MY MOUTH BUT IT WENT TOO HIGH AND HIT THE CEILING AND THERE WAS A SPIDER THERE AND THE SPIDER FELL AND SO DID THE GRAPE AND THEY BOTH LANDED ON MY FACE AND I STILL HAVEN’T STOPPED SCREAMING

i read the first line in my head in the tune of call me maybe im so stupid

I threw a grape in the air
I went to catch it I swear
It hit a spider that fell
and now they’re on my face

Fantastic.

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Sun, 19 May 2013 23:54:54 -0400

i-get-high-with-satan: i could actually watch this for hours

Sun, 19 May 2013 23:54:34 -0400

i-get-high-with-satan:

i could actually watch this for hours

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Sun, 19 May 2013 23:54:28 -0400

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Fri, 17 May 2013 20:43:02 -0400

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Fri, 17 May 2013 20:41:58 -0400

thefunniestpost: “…and that’s my presentation.”

Fri, 17 May 2013 20:37:00 -0400

thefunniestpost:

“…and that’s my presentation.”

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Fri, 17 May 2013 20:36:54 -0400

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Fri, 17 May 2013 20:36:48 -0400

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Fri, 17 May 2013 20:36:43 -0400

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Fri, 17 May 2013 20:36:11 -0400

juliasegal: If you message my friend on her t-shirt site, she...

Fri, 17 May 2013 20:36:00 -0400

juliasegal:

If you message my friend on her t-shirt site, she can make u something like this. http://store.strangetimes-mfg.com/

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Fri, 17 May 2013 20:35:48 -0400

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Fri, 17 May 2013 20:35:41 -0400

thetumblr-thisisatumblr: I suppose you’re all wondering why...

Fri, 17 May 2013 20:35:19 -0400

thetumblr-thisisatumblr:

I suppose you’re all wondering why I’ve gathered you here today

royal-high: a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months....

Fri, 17 May 2013 20:34:53 -0400

royal-high:

a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work